Welcome to NHS
by Queen Kez the Wicked
Summary: Dealing with a strike is NOTHING compared to the trials of high school. Set in present time, the Newsies have to cope with all sorts of unspeakable horrors...Popularity, exams and school lunches, oh my! Ch.9...Swifty gets in trouble and the POV changes!
1. One

****

Welcome to NHS

By Swifty Li, as told to Keza: Queen of Procrastination

AN: A harmless, humor based, present day fic where everyone is stereotyped because, hey! It's high school, man. Wanna be in? Grand! Send an e-mail over to fyrepower42@hotmail.com . Just, um, tell me you wanna be in! Then I'll send over a profile and things will be just DANDY! This first chapter is short because I don't have very many original characters to stick in yet. And not very interesting because the only Newsies mentioned are Swifty and Pie-eater, and those are the only two 'normal' ones of the entire group. The rest are exaggerated immensely. (Oh, and of course Itey is a metalhead. With a MULLET! -cackles-)

+

"Ohhh Monday, Monday…" 

The intercom flared to life, blasting a few words of the infamous song much too cheerfully. Several sleepy heads twitched and tilted up, their morning dozes interrupted by the noise. I paused in my doodling and cocked my head to hear the morning's announcements. To my left, Pie-eater's head banged to his desk as he fell right back asleep. The only other person besides me who was even halfway awake was Crutchy, the bastard. Nothing pissed us off more than his early morning cheeriness. Except for his early afternoon cheeriness. Come to think of it, his late afternoon cheeriness wasn't too great either. Luckily, at the moment he was out running an errand for the teacher, Ms. Larkson. 

"Molly! Put that away, you're going to get poisoned!" Ms. Larkson's shrill voice cut through the sleepy silence. The accused girl looked up, then rolled her eyes and capped the black pen she had been using to draw designs on her arm. She tapped the pen idly, probably just to torment Ms. Larkson, who couldn't tolerate repetitive sounds like that. Unfortunately, neither could I.

"Uhm. Ruin. Could you…" Ruin, or Molly, looked over.

"Yes, Swifty?" she asked innocently. The tapping increased. 

"Forget it," I grumbled, and continued shading in my latest homeroom masterpiece. 

See, in our school, nicknames were a natural thing. The freshmen were named by the seniors every year - strange, but we accepted the tradition readily. The teachers didn't care much for the practice, but as long as it did no harm, they didn't intervene. But of course they called us by our real names. Teachers are like that. Not to brag, but my name was well deserved. After all, I _am_ the fastest sprinter on the eas-

"Alright! Enough of this laziness! First period. Now." Ms. Larkson almost seemed sad to see us go, eh? I shook Pie-eater awake and we filed out with the rest of the class.

And thus begins a new week.


	2. Two

****

Welcome to NHS

By Swifty Li, as told to Keza: Queen of Procrastination

****

AN: Wa-hoooaaa many, many responses to that casting call. Ark! I need more original male characters, so if you have any of those, e-mail me and tell me. Oh, and of course anyone can still be in it. Woo. 

****

Stormbringer: Yes. Good, good movie.

****

Omniscient Bookseller: Oh dear… Well, don't kill yourself in a review to me! And if anyone gets our friend Race, it's you. -_^ OH and I'm probably gonna use Teacher, if ya don't mind.

****

AngelicOne: Whee! Thanks. 

****

Slick: School with Newsies… Um… Ew -wipes drool of the keyboard-

****

Deejay Supastar: I was going to have Pie be the narrator, but changed to Swifty. Pie is the best though. 

-grin-

****

Kitten-Luv:Oh, Swifty absolutely _loves_ high school, let me tell you. And chuckling is good for the mind and body. Hehe.

****

SexyDaddyMagent69: HAHA bottle 'o hot guys! Well put, well put.

****

Shortie: MUAHALICIOUS! Sounds like a yummy flavor to me. *muah hah hah*

****

Misprint: School. Nine hours? Ark. I'm so, so, sorry. YES! Mullet-Itey. -cracks up-

****

Dragonfly: I always draw on my hands… At least my right one (I'm a lefty!) It's _fun!_

****

Falco: The scary Hot Topic guy would like to say "hey." He also wants to lecture you about Brooklyn…

****

Derby: ^________^ eeehehe faces are fun.

****

Mondie: Keezles, eh? I must admit that's a new one. And of course you love Pie! Everybody loves Pie!

****

Aki: Swifty is getting dizzy. O_o

****

ThumbsuckerSnitch: -snorts when she thinks of how she's going to portray Snitch- Well, you asked for it!

****

Hotshot: Don't worry, more chapters equal more fun! Oh boy! And, who's the jock, etc? You will see. You will ALL SEEEEE!

Ok… Cutting down on the caffeine, I swear.

+

The teachers here have some very effective torture methods. Ninety minute science, at the period right before lunch - well, that's one of their favorites. I stumbled into class late, thanks to a stubborn locker door, and scanned the class for a free seat. Uh oh… 

The only open chair was one of the last places I'd want to sit - next to Chamelion. Nothing against the girl, she was nice and friendly and all… But she also had a major crush on me. And the rumor was that today we were watching "The Private Life of Plants." You know, the movie about plant sex. In other words, things could get _really_ awkward. Any other place to sit? Nope, not unless I wanted to sit next to Snitch - but that would probably mean losing my new watch. 

I slid in next to Chamelion and nodded a hello, then found myself standing a moment later as Slacker entered the class and snapped at me to move so she could sit next to her friend.

"That time of the month, eh?" I heard Racetrack snort from the back of the room. He was trying to light a cigarette. You'd think that after spending eight years of your life in detention, you might learn. Racetrack didn't. He was always doing stuff like this - smoking, gambling, mouthing off. Several other unmentionable things. He was a bad seed, but still an ok guy if you caught him on the right day.

So I sat next to Snitch after all, who spent most of the time listening to his endless array of rap music. During the movie Chamelion kept giving me meaningful glances, but I was too busy worrying about something being stolen from me that I didn't do anything about it. 

Despite 90 minutes of plant sex, the class wasn't too bad. What with Race offering Ms. Records, a cigarette and Kid Blink getting pushed off his stool by Tiger (he was probably attempting advances again. Boy never quits!). Still, when the lunch bell rang, everyone was a bit queasy. 

"I haven't seen Polecat for a few days," I commented to Pie-eater as we made our way to the cafeteria. Ruin walked with us - that girl kind of creeped me out, but she was a good friend of Pie's, so I didn't say anything. Though anyone who gets their nickname because of a temper and tendancy towards violence is one to be weary of. 

"Neither have I," Pie admitted. He stopped to grab his lunch. "She hasn't called lately either."

Ruin looked to me in mock horror.

"Oh no! Don't separate Pie and his girlfriend for long, he may _explode!_" I snorted, Pie-eater glared. 

"You're just jealous," he retorted.

"Oh, that's right. I forgot." 

"Uh oh," I murmured as we turned a corner. Skittery and Snoddy - the class bully and his minion - had a boy up against a wall and clearly wanted something. Meanwhile, several of the 'popular' kids looked on with smirks. 

"It don't mattah if it's a fag's money!" Skittery was saying. "It's still money, and you _owe_ me!" The victim, a boy with glasses and floppy blonde hair - we called 'em Dutchy - didn't cower. 

"I don't '_owe_' you anything!" he insisted. 

"Aw, jus' soak 'em and get it over with," someone sneered from the other wall. Ah, of course. Little Spot Conlon and his gang of 'friends.' He had his arm wrapped around Sky, his latest girlfriend, and was playing with the key on his neck. Sky had a smirk to match his, and I noticed her wink at Ruin. The two were mortal enemies, though I don't know why. Pie-eater held onto the back of Ruin's shirt. She twisted to glare at him. Sky just snapped her gum smugly and wriggled closer to Spot.

"Don't you guys have someplace to go?" Snoddy asked as he noticed us. 

"Let go of Dutchy," Pie-eater replied coolly.

"That's funny, I didn't know the fag had a name," Skittery glanced over his shoulder - checking for adults - then refocused on holding Dutchy against the wall. "Betcha like being this close to me, eh?" 

"For Christ's sake, let go of the boy!" a new voice snapped. Skittery fell over backwards as Lute appeared and nailed him in the back of his knees with her flute case. Dutchy jumped away from the wall and gave him a satisfying kick in the crotch before joining us on our quest for food. 

"Hey, thanks Lute," Dutchy muttered, obviously embarrassed. 

"Nooo problem!" she winked and tipped her Boston Red Sox hat. "Hey, any of you seen Snitch today? I think he's trying to avoid me or something." 

"Yeah, I saw 'em in science," I told her. "He seemed pretty normal." 

"Alrighty, then, I'm off to find him," she skipped away.

"WAIT! Lute!"

"Yeah?!"

"TELL HIM TO GIVE ME BACK MY DAMN WATCH!" Lute rolled her eyes at her boyfriend's antics and nodded. 

"That was a good move," Ruin mused as we sat down in the cafeteria and Dutchy left to find Specs. She was still talking about Lute and her flute case. "I wonder what would happen if I did that with my bass clarinet case…"

"That thing's bigger than you!" Schizo exclaimed. She had just joined us. Ruin grinned wickedly.

"I know."

+

Ah, well, still not too long, but I'm working on introducing the characters and such, so that's why! I swear! Don't fret if you haven't been mentioned yet, I'll get ya in next chapter and such. Now…

SKY is owned by Falco (hahaaa you're a snobby bitch! Snobby bitch!)

RUIN is owned by moi

LUTE is owned by ThumbsuckerSnitch

SCHIZO is owned by Holly

TIGER is owned by Blinks Tiger

SLACKER is owned by JLove 

CHAMELION is owned by Aki 

POLECAT is owned by Deejay Supastar

Whew. Hope I got 'em all right!


	3. Three

****

Welcome to NHS

By Swifty Li, as told to Keza: Queen of Procrastination

****

AN: What does NHS stand for, you ask? Whatever you want it to stand for - the most obvious choice being "Newsie High School." "New Tuna High School," "Nifty High School," and "Neighborly High School" work as well. In my friend Daavid's words, 'whatever boats your float.'

He isn't the brightest crayon in the box. I mean, sharpest. 

YIKES and 'thanks!' to everyone who has submitted profiles thus far. I'm a bit overwhelmed with them (holy there's a lot!) so if you don't see your character yet, do not fret! They'll pop up some time or another. Meanwhile I'm stalling on an actual plot until I introduce more characters. -sweatdrop-

+

****

Cards: DAMMIT can't believe I forgot you! Look! Top o' the list now! Send me over a pomegranate, eh? And you can borrow a cot if Dutchy and Specs are still hogging your room.

****

ThumbsuckerSnitch: Bass clarinet players are _obviously_ the coolest in the band. -grin- And man, those cases are fun to threaten lower classmen with. Minion!Snoddy! -cracks up- And what can I say? In my science class we actually _did_ have to watch "The Private Life of Plants." It was very long. I fell asleep. So did my friend Abbe - she drooled all over her sweatshirt.

****

Omni Books: What, I can't shorten your name? Too late to save Dutchy! Ark. Racetrack is yours. -nods- Muah hah hah. Not sure how I'll write you two yet. Workin' on it!

****

Secksay, Fatherly, Fridge Decoration: Ark! I coulda sworn I e-mailed you, but I did again and now I have your info, so sit tight… ^_^

****

AngelicOne:Oh, I can picture Skittery's expression perfectly. -snort- That _would_ be hilarious.

****

Dragonfly: I can never draw flowers. I usually end up drawing, like, spiderwebs. Even though I hate spiders.

****

Babble: This high school is gonna have maaany many band geeks. But that's ok. We're all band geeks at heart, right? Er… Right?

****

Hotshot: Er… -sweatdrop- Ummm… I'M SORRY I'M JUST SUCH A SUCKER FOR D/S! Crutchy/Jake? o_O … I'll see what I can do for you and Specs though? Hoh boy… -ducks from thrown rotten fruit-

****

Riot: No idea where this school actually is, but I'm just a diehard Bo'Sox fan so of course she's wearing it. Just to make it interesting, next time she'll probably be wearing a Yankees hat. -snort-

****

Deejay Supastar: Ye, you get Pie in this one. Was anyone else surprised by that? Hehehe. Please don't faint on me… It really does nothing for the décor. Of course exploding is even worse.

****

Salute your SHORTS: o_o moo? (Yes, make fun of me, I haven't seen Rent yet..) Ah! Such a great song. I know all the words too. Christmas approaches, we must have the songs!

****

Asp: Ah yes, unfortunately, a tuba case would probably be hard to swing. But that would be amusing. Yes! Cackle away! It's good for the soul.

****

JLove: Like I mentioned above, I actually _had_ to watch a movie on plant sex. It was horrible. The worst part was the narrator.

****

Raeghann: Falco keeps berating me for not reading "Through the Hourglass," so I expect I'll be doing that soon. I'll keep an eye out for Ox. And, thanks!

****

Aki: Swifters! Hehe. I like that. He _almost _sat next to you. Dammit Slacker!

****

Mondie: A new nickname every review, it seems. Ark. I lurve your guy characters in Growth/Will I! I'll be stealing some soon. -cackles-

****

Ruse: Wheee I get the Stamp of Ruse Approval! Mucho thanks for the profiles. ^_^

****

Slick: YOU SAY WICKED! It's the coolest word, but I always get harassed for saying it! 'Must be a northeastern thing,' everyone says. Ark ark ark.

****

Drama Queen: KOW? That's a new one!

****

Kitten-Luv: How'd you know I can amuse myself for hours with a lollipop???

****

Atlantic: Don't fret, they'll all be in eventually. 

+

Alright, break's over, back to school!

+

Lunch was the chaotic mass it always is. Schizo battled with her uncontrollable hair, Specs and Dutchy flirted while Hotshot looked on in despair, Lute berated Snitch until he gave my watch back, Lyr was mad because Racetrack was in for lunch detention - _again._

"Honestly," she was saying between mouthfuls of some pastry or another. (Pie was looking jealous.) "I don't know what I'm gonna do with that boy."

"At least your relationship isn't like that one," Dodger said from an adjourning table. She was motioning to the back of the room, where Poet was yelling at Skittery. Poet and Skittery had been together all through high school - a surprise considering that they were the exact opposites. Skittery, the bully. Poet, the peacemaker. He never acted up when she was around.

"It's not so bad," Pie-eater said. Lyr had finally handed some of her pastry over to him. "She's his saving grace, really."

"Here comes trouble," Dodger again. Sure enough, Spot Conlon came parading through the doors, flanked by a good number of his admirers. Giggles was talking animatedly with Sky, who was hanging off Spot and just ignoring her. Babble, Ali, and Glitter strode in behind them, surveying the lunchroom with superior looks on their faces. 

"It's like they're all the same person," Ruin was muttering. "Their names are the best part. So damn original." 

Schizo snickered.

"Original. Heh. Gawd, am I the only one temporarily blinded by Glitter's…"

"…Glitter?" Lyr supplied.

"Yeah. Maybe if someone maimed them, they'd actually look different from one another."

"Ruin, sit down." 

Behind that crowd, fashionably late as always, paraded the jocks - Jack Kelly and his cheerleader girlfriend Sarah Jacobs, of course with their whole 'posse' following closely. I watched with interest as Jack parted from the group and made his way over to our table, glancing around every few seconds like he was checking to see if anyone was watching. Slacker, who was sitting next to Dodger, stared as he approached the cluster of table. I heard Dodger mutter something about keeping her drool to herself. Why Slacker is in love with Jack is a mystery to us all. But damn, that girl is obsessed.

Jack stopped behind Dutchy and Specs and cleared his throat nervously. I indicated Jack to Specs with a nod of my head. He turned and looked up. 

"Heyyy, Jacky-boy." 

"Uhm, hey, yeah, listen Specs…" Jack mumbled articulately. Apparently he was one of those who didn't want to be seen around one of the school's 'fags.' Out of the corner of my eyes I could see Hotshot put down her sandwich and get ready to act if any trouble was caused. Specs' ex girlfriend, and now best friend, she was also one of the most protective people I've known.

"About that algebra shit," Jack was saying. "D'ya think that… That… Ya could help me after all?" his tone boarded on pleading. Specs grinned widely and stood up, then gave Jack a hearty clap on the back.

"Well, sure Jacky!" he said loudly. Very loudly. Several heads turned in our directions - Jack simply turned red. "I'll help you _study_!" he accented the key word and winked at some random person in the lunchtime crowd. Snickers erupted immediately. I didn't think it was possible for Jack to turn any redder, but he did. "We'll have fun," he promised Jack, then sat back down and returned calmly to his conversation with Slick. The jock stood frozen for a moment, then fled like a jack rabbit.

Ahem. No pun intended. 

"Look at that! Just _look_ at that!" a familiar voice said disgustedly. Shortie had stopped right in front of her seat and was glaring at something. I followed her gaze and hid a smile. "Shove it, Swifty," she spat, noticing me. 

"Testy, testy," Ruin snorted - and was rewarded with a smack. "That was rather uncalled for," she said coldly, then returned to watching the source of Shortie's 'testiness.' 

Across the cafeteria was a familiar sight - Mush Myers cornering a girl named Mondie. Poor Mush. He always went after the girls who would never go out with him, all the while ignoring people like Shortie. Then again, sometimes people like Shortie are the ones to stay away from. She has a shrine. Does that not scare you?

Mondie was rolling her eyes and looking for a way out, while Mush flirted shamelessly and tried his best to impress her. Shortie finally sat down and glared across the table to Slick.

"Gimmie some of that salsa," she growled.

"Uh, Shorts, this is straight horseradish - I wouldn't advice you to-"

"JUST GIVE IT TO ME!" Slick's eyes widened with a snap, and she slid the bottle across obediently. Everyone watched as Shortie shoved a spoonful of the stuff into her mouth. I expected smoke to come out of her ears any minute… but she just swallowed it moodily and continued to glare off into space, no expression on her face. Pie-eater gulped and edged away.

Near the end of lunch, Polecat showed up. She located our table quickly and moved over to join us.

"Hey guys. Did any of you hear about the new kid?"

"Where were you?"

"New kid?"

"Man, you missed the best movie in science…"

"Is it a boy?"

"Dutchy!"

"I was just _wondering!_"

"New what?"

"Kid."

"Is it a girl?"

"Calm down. Yes, apparently we're getting a new guy from FHS."

"So it's a guy?"

"_DUTCHY!_"

"Uh, I mean, that's too bad… Cause… I'm unavailable and all," Dutchy added quickly, avoiding Specs' glare. 

"Yeah, it's a guy. Abbe told me about him - she goes to FHS. Anyway," she continued, leaning forward and looking at each of the girls in turn. "He's tall… dark… handsome… strong…"

"I'm right here," Pie-eater said quietly.

"…dreamy… mysterious… he sings… and plays football… and acts… and-"

"Yup," Pie-eater held up his wrist as if checking a watch. "Stillllll right here."

"-is in band, and-"

Ruin tapped Polecat's shoulder and motioned to Pie-eater, who was hunched over the table, drumming his fingers on the table, eyes narrowed.

"Oh! Hey Pie, I was wondering where you were."

+

Who's this new guy? Anyone who gets it right receives… these hand crafted slash dolls! -displays them Vanna White style- any two newsies you want! Look! They have magnets in their hands! And then… -moves two of the dolls together- See! They hold hands!


	4. Four

****

Welcome to NHS

By Swifty Li, as told to Keza: Queen of Procrastination

****

AN: On the way to Vermont for family Christmas right now - oh boy, a four and a half hour drive! Perfect time to fire off a few chapters for your reading pleasure. (Or torture, depending how you look at it.)

****

One the subject of the plot… I spent a fair amount of time this morning trying to think up a suitable plot for this story. The conclusion I came to? No plot. This story will just meander along the school year, ending when the school year ends, with it's fair share of (mis) adventures and conflicts along the way. Nothing big. 

So, despite lacking anything in the plot area, I hope you continue to enjoy NHS. But, of course, if you have a good plot suggestion, please tell me in a review/e-mail or something! -bows-

****

This Chapter Sponsored By: Elton John's Greatest Hits 1971-2002 - the first CD. I picked them up at circuit city this morning, and they rock! -attempts to dance along and gets tangled in the seatbelt- Ark.

+

The rest of the day passed uneventfully, really, until a hastily thrown together band practice after school. Concert band, that is. There's a whole slew of band kids in our school, and the usual comments were heard as we tromped through the halls to the gym.

"If you don't shut up, Mush, I'm going to shove this stick up you arse!" From her percussionist highness herself, Mondie. 

"Touche!" Babble, probably fencing with her flute again. This time it looked like Lute was her competitor. Once Echo and Ruin attempted fencing with their bass clarinets, but that's a story for a different time. Lyr, who had been composing a piece for the school, was trying to explain music theory to Riot, who had completely zoned out and was admiring Shortie's pants. And as usual, Magic was storming along next to me, ranting half in English and half in Spanish about something I still couldn't understand. I just nodded in the right places and pretended I was interested. Magic wasn't even _in_ band - she had just come along because the rumor was that the new kid was coming to watch our practice. 

"I hope he's hot," she said randomly, completely cutting off her former sentence - which had been something about her mother, I think. "Or a least good in bed," she added after a beat. 

"Funny, I would have thought it would be the other way around for you," Shad remarked from her other side. 

"Har, har, har," she said, rolling her eyes, then added "pero yo tambien" after thinking about it for a second. 

A quite confused group of kids stood at the entrance to the gym, staring dumbly inside. All of the chairs and stands had already been set up for us, yet no conductor was in sight. 

"What the fuck?" ever so intelligent Ruin was the first to speak. 

"Thank me later," an unfamiliar voice said. Some boy - I can only assume he was the new kid - stood up from where he had been sitting in the saxophone section and smirked, then winked at her. I looked behind me, expecting some sharp retort from our favorite psycho, but instead she just stood there with a strange smile on her face. Very unnerved, I turned back around and almost took Magic out with my trombone case. 

"Dammit Swifty!" she complained, then promptly smacked me upside the head. Luckily we were saved from a potentially awkward silence when Mr. Pulitzer, our conductor, entered. 

"What is this idle standing!" he bellowed. "Get to work! Put together those… those…"

"Instruments, sir?" the new kid supplied.

"Yes! Instruments. Thank you, uh, boy."

"Yes sir," Mush mimicked. "Sir? Who calls anyone 'sir' these days?" 

"I think it's nice that there are still respectful boys left in the world," Mondie answered airily.

"Oh, yeah, me too!" Mush agreed quickly. "Uh, ma'm." 

"Swifty, I think I need an excuse for being here," Magic said, eyeing Pulitzer suspiciously. 

"You're thinking about joining band?" Pie-eater suggested. He tested out the slide on his trombone, added some grease, then said "saxophone."

"What?"

"You can say you're going to play saxophone."

"What's a sa- never mind, ok, I will." She walked off to sit in the bleachers. A few moments later new kid ended his conversation with Pulitzer and joined her - for lack of anywhere else to sit, but we won't tell Magic that. 

Pulitzer cleared his throat noisily in an attempt to get us all quiet. As disgusting as it was, it worked.

"Shut up! Shut up!"

"Mr. Pulitzer, sir, we aren't saying any-"

"BE QUIET! Now, this fine, strapping, young man over there will be joining our band for tomorrow's practice, so don't forget to set up an extra chair in the, uh," he waved his hand in the direction of the saxophone section. "In there.

"Quite eloquent of you, sir!" Shad spoke up from the back, started to clap, then gathered his wits and promptly shut up. Pulitzer's glare is one of the only things that will make him be quiet. Sometimes, he'd actually stop talking long enough to get a few notes out on his trumpet. He was actually pretty good, but nothing compared to Jake, whom he sat next to. Yeah, Jake. He claimed that it wasn't his real name, it was a nickname and the letters stood for something or other - we don't press about it. Anyway, Jake is some sort of strange trumpet prodigy. I mean it - this kid is amazing. He's pretty quiet, doesn't talk much… but when he does, it's always about trumpets. Like I said, strange. 

Pulitzer gave us all one last glare before he spent a good five minutes hunched over his podium, squinting through his thick glasses at the music laid out before him. Man is blind as a bat. He also can't conduct worth beans. That just shows you how much our school system values band. 

"Somerset Overture!" he announced finally. 

"Sorry I'm late!" Chamelion squeaked, running in and somehow managing to squeeze a chair between Pie and me. She had only started playing trombone earlier this year. Can _you_ guess why? Pie started to protest, but I silenced him with a shake of my head. We didn't want her getting upset and losing her temper. Plus, if we said anything that was even borderline offensive, she'd report back to big brother Specs… who would promptly storm over and kick our asses. He and Dutchy make a frightening tag team. 

"Hey Pie. Hey Swifters!"

Swifters?

"Hey Chamelion. Somerset." 

"Thanks." 

"SILENCE BACK THERE!" Pulitzer shook his conducting wand at us accusingly. 

Gulp.

We were lucky we had some good percussionists, because that's the only way anyone can keep count, no matter what song we're playing. Pulitzer does some strange interpretive-style dance with his wand, Mondie interprets it with her sticks, the rest of the percussion section follows her lead, we listen and play the best we can. And with this messed up style of counting, it doesn't always sound too good. Except for the pieces with big trumpet parts. Those always sound good. Damn that Jake….

Twelve measures of resting. Ain't trombone parts grand? 

"1 , 2, 3, 2 ,2, 3, 3, 2... Wait, what happened to the second beat in that measure?" I hissed to Chamelion, since my dear friend Pie "counting as steady as a rock" eater wasn't within earshot.

"Which measure?" she asked back, losing count herself and becoming as thoroughly confused as I. It's ok. That's a normal occurance in this band. 

"Uhmm, the fourth one - no, no, sorry, the second?" 

"Second? Wait, we're in 4/4 time, right?"

"I thought it was ¾!"

"Nevermind, it says cut time right there."

"_Cut time?_"

"Yeah! Which means we should be playing right n-" the rest of her sentence was cut off by a hastily positioned mouthpiece. I followed suit. 

Apparently Pulitzer didn't like what he was hearing, because after a few more measures, he cut us all off, stepped down from his podium, and broke his wand over his knee. (It took a few tries, but still had the desired effect.) 

"What… is… this…." he tried to find the right word, shaking with fury.

"Crap, sir?" new boy spoke up from the bleachers. 

"WHAT IS THIS CRAP?!" Pulitzer roared. I saw Lute up front wipe some spit from her cheek and snickered. But even my small noise caught Pulitzer's attention. He walked slowly to the trombone section and leveled one jagged piece of his former wand menacingly at me.

"Would you like to tell us what it is, Mr. Li?" 

"Er…." my gaze flicked to our music. "Somerset Overture?" Pulitzer's eye started to twitch. "Uh, Sir?" I added hopefully. 

"No! It's crap!" he told me, poking my shoulder with the wand half. "Tell me, Mr. Li," now he turned away from me and was pacing around thoughtfully. "Do you know what I was doing when I was your age?" I didn't answer. "I was in a war!" Oh, right, of course.

"So did you win?"

He turned back around and shrugged neutrally. "Oh, I don't remember. I was only in the marching band part. Now, let's try that again."

"Mush, I'm not sure if you've noticed that there's ENOUGH SNARES FOR US ALL!" a glance back showed me that Mush was trying to share Mondie's drum. Again. Ah, band romance…

+


	5. Five

****

Welcome to NHS

By Swiftly Li, as told to Keza: Queen of Procrastination

****

AN: Ark, I have SO much homework to do right now! But hell. That can be put off until tonight. Oh, and more importantly, most of the characters in this story are juniors. 

****

This Chapter Sponsored By: Jeremiah Freed's self-titled album. Local rock is the BEST! You really must look into JFreed. They're pretty good live, too.

+

"So, what's his name?" I asked Magic as I gaze her a lift to school the next day.

"Hmm? Whose?"

"You know - the new kid."

"Dominic," she told me with a wry smile. I slowed at a stop sign and looked over, catching that smile. 

"Don't tell me you already…"

"Ok, then I won't." I managed about another mile or so in silence before I had to ask.

"Fine, fine, tell me." 

"Nope."

"No? This might be the longest you've known a guy without screw-"

"But we have a date tonight." 

"Oh, right," I rolled my eyes and pulled into an empty space. "Silly me." 

"Guys!" Dragonfly bounced in front of me, effectively cutting of my path to the door. "Come on! Morning entertainment!" and sprung off again. 

"Hyper little bugger," I muttered. A few seconds later she reappeared and grabbed my hand to drag me over to where Sarah Jacobs and the rest of the cheerleaders were lounging. Sarah refuses to have a nickname, although several have been given to her. But that alone wasn't entertainment - the fun in the situation was the two people facing off against the cheerleader horde. Ah, of course - Riot and Oatmeal. 

"Look, it's the cardigan whore," Sarah taunted, applying another layer of lipstick with a smirk in Oatmeal's direction. Oatmeal opened her mouth to shout something back, then paused and shut it again. Riot turned to her in surprise, Oatmeal just shrugged.

"Well, it's kind of true," she admitted. Riot rolled her eyes at her friend, then turned back to the crowd. 

"Back ye demons," she said. "We need to get through the door!"

I glanced past Sky's head and saw she was right, the girls were effectively blocking one of the main entrances to the school. Of course Oatmeal and Riot had jumped at the chance to harass them. 

I heard a door slam and looked over my shoulder to see the new kid - er, Dominic, stride away from a silver convertible. Apparently, it was his. The cheerleaders watched this and starting giggling, talking amongst themselves excitedly. Even Riot, Oatmeal, and Dragonfly stopped mocking the girls long enough to turn and drool… ew… damn, that's unattractive. Magic just chuckled from behind me. I felt a scowl come onto my face, annoyed already. He had his coat slung over one shoulder, and was combing back floppy black hair, radiating confidence. 

"Hello ladies!" he greeted them once he was in earshot, flashing a wink and a mock salute before cutting a clean path through to the door. I watched with half a smirk as Ali turned "weak in the knees" to a literal statement and crashed to the ground. That smirk was again replaced with a scowl as even Chamelion stopped and stared as she was exiting through the door. As much as my stalker is annoying and all, I mean, come on! YOU LIKE ME! I wanted to shout. Instead I stared at the ground and grumbled to myself.

"That… that… that bum-"

"Let's just go inside," Pie-eater interrupted, appearing behind me. 

"Wait, what did you just say?"

"Uh, let's-"

"Hah," I started towards the door. "Bum. Let's. Bumlets. Strange word."

I could see Pie's expression without turning around. He probably had one eye brow raised, eyes slightly wide, mouth twisted up into some strange half smile.

"I think you're strange," he said. 

"I think you're-"

"AHEM. Chamelion, it's a little early for that," Pie again. Chamelion pouted, annoyed at being interrupted - but the moment was lost, so she frolicked off to find Adele instead. 

"BOW DOWN! BOW DOWN DAMMIT!" a commotion down the hall caught my attention. Pie's eyes widened drastically.

"Steer clear," he warned. "It's not a good day for Schizo." 

"Oy vey," I muttered in agreement. Ah, Schizo - our favorite - and luckily only - schizophrenic friend. On good days she's pretty normal, and we have halfway intelligent conversations about good bands… on bad days… well…

"BOW DOWN TO THE KING PLATYPUS!" she screeched. She was holding Classic's long brown hair in one hand, and trying to force her head down with the other. Classic looked absolutely petrified, and was obviously trying to scream for help. I could see that Asia had already run to get someone of authority, but I moved closer anyway, hoping to rescue Classic before Schizo snapped. Unfortunately Schizo caught sight of me first, and narrowed her eyes.

"Bow down," she hissed. I glanced around the hall, where a small crowd had started to gather, then bit back my pride and dropped to my knees. Schizo cackled and grinned deviously. I bowed, then saluted her and walked on my knees the rest of the way, placing my hands on Schizo's.

"Schiz, hon, why don't you let go of Classy?" I asked in my most soothing voice. I heard Pie and Ruin snickering from behind me and forced myself to ignore them.

"…therapist voice…" Pie was saying. 

"But she won't bow down!" Schizo was protesting. 

"Erm, she can't," I removed Schizo's hands and raised my eyebrows at Classic, hoping she'd get the message and just frikkin bow!

Classic blinked innocently up, somehow confused. 

"Just bow," I said from the corner of my mouth.

"What? Swifty, speak up." 

"Bow d-"

"Mr. Li. Ms. Smitherson," a deep, calm voice, sounded from above me. I gulped. Shit. The small crowd had immediately dispersed upon his arrival.

"Er…" I looked up and into the face of Mr. Seitz, our principal with scary sideburns. Wait, this isn't the time to talk about sideburns - I was obviously in the wrong place at the wrong time, and tried to explain...

"Sir, I was just trying to help Clas- er…" I fought to remember her real name, and failed. 

"Mmmhmm. After school detention, both of you," he said. I winced, but didn't even try to argue. Detention - I had only been there twice before… not happy memories. 

I risked a glance behind me to see Schizo's reaction, but she wasn't paying attention. Rather, she was humming to herself and trying to twist paper clips into earrings. I sighed and got to my feet. There was no way I'd make homeroom, so I just started to my first class. 

Gym, oh great. The last thing I needed right now was Denton's sweaty face studying me up and down as we did pushups. Honestly.

+

Gah, sorry, that was kind of short… I should have the next one out soon though - I just need to get some homework done. -groan- By now you should all have figured out who the new kid is… and I promise to bring in more of the newsies soon. Woo!

Next chapter… how bad can detention be?


	6. Six

****

Welcome to NHS

By Swifty Li, as told to Keza: Queen of Procrastination

****

AN: Wow, am I bad at updating or what? I'd like to promise that I'll get chapters out faster, buuuut I have ski team and we don't get home from practices until 7:00 and ski meets, like… 9:00, soo… yeah. Plus I'm distracted by my new Roundhouse tape. (High Sid-point One: He has a goat! High Sid-point Two: HE RAPS! I sense a new newsie rap brewing… High Sid-point Three: uhm, well, it's Sid, I could go on for a very long time.) But enough rambling (aww, but isn't that what author notes are for?) Onto the good, the bad, the ugly, the… detention hall. 

****

This Chapter Sponsored By: My homemade Roundhouse soundtrack.

****

Gothic Author: Riot pretty much went over what I was going to saw in response to your review (thanks hon) but let me restate… I have nothing against orchestra or anything, yes, there's a lot of band and marching band fics out there, for obvious reasons… a lot of people are in band/marching band! They write from their experiences! I'm not in orchestra. Hell, my school is too small to even have a marching band. If I wrote a fic about orchestra, you'd probably just get mad at me cause I'd probably get it wrong! So go write one yourself. 

****

One Last Thing… http://freewebs.com/unaregla/thatsmystereo.html here's a present. I wrote out all the newsies' stereotypes, so you don't have to keep asking. Enjoy!

+

I was not looking forward to this, not in the least. I approached the detention hall, dragging my feet with my head bowed - unfortunately, the latter really restricted my line of sight, so I smacked right into the most unlikely person. 

"Eek!" she squeaked. I rubbed my head, then looked up a gaped.

"Angelic One? You're not going to… no, you couldn't be going to… to…" I just couldn't get the word out.

"Detention?" she supplied dully.

"Uh, yeah," I said, trying to get over my shock. Angelic One was - well - just look at her name! She's exactly like she sounds. Perfect… in the ways of school, that is. I'd bet my life it was her first time to detention… but I didn't press it. Instead I held the door open.

"Ladies first."

That earned me a whack upside the head. Dammit! I wasn't even being sarcastic!

Ok, so detention in itself isn't all that bad. Just another chance to get caught up on schoolwork, I guess. It's just the _people_ in detention that are sketchy. Ruin, (who knows what she did to get in here) Queenie, Racetrack, and Misprint were all off in a corner playing poker, Race trying to get a cigarette off of Queenie, who was distracting him by refusing while Misprint stole some of his money. If I wanted to keep my own cash, I knew to stay away from that bunch. 

I looked up from my math homework and glanced to Itey.

"Hey, um, where's the advisor?" 

He looked confused. 

"Advis… oh right… hum, dunno. She usually leaves once we're all here. You can only open the door from the outside. Did you know that?"

Insert Swifty's eyes widening.

"Erp… no." 

Not sure whether Itey was joking or not, I slowly slid away. Anyway, it bothered me being so close to him and his disgusting mullet for a long period of time. He went back to ignoring me and playing out some drum solo on his desk. Damn metalhead. 

My train of thought was interrupted as Oatmeal crashed into the room, smiling sourly. Following her was Sky. She must have caught my questioning look.

"Just a little misunderstanding," Oatmeal explained with a wink. 

"Bitch slapped me!" Sky whined. I heard Ruin snort and shout her approval from the behind. Oatmeal grinned and Sky glared evilly. Oatmeal sat down next to Angelic One and the two started gossiping, meanwhile Sky just kind of stood around and finally sat down next to me. Out of the corner of my eye I could see Itey start drooling.

Ew.

The door opened again. Jeez, was this parade of wrongdoers ever going to end? Pie-eater and Polecat were herded in by Mrs. Jacobs, the hall advisor. Both of the kid's faces were bright red. There was a crash as Queenie and Misprint yelled "SCORE!" simultaneously and Ruin fell off her chair. 

"Never again!" Mrs. Jacobs hissed, then disappeared out the door again. Pie spotted me and my mock-disapproval.

"How were we supposed to know she'd be in the teacher's room? No one is ever in the teacher's room!"

"I suppose you'd know," Race smirked. 

"Shush!" Polecat scolded, the redness now only remaining in her ears. Pie glanced back at the door, then leaned over and whispered something in her ear. She giggled, and the next thing I knew, they were kissing again.

Aw, gee.

More catcalls from the back, of course. I began to wonder what Queenie actually WAS smoking. Sky scoffed beside me.

"That's disgusting!" she exclaimed, then looked to me for confirmation. I stared blankly back. Beside me, Itey drooled. Painful sights no matter where I looked. I resorted instead to banging my head repeatedly on my desk. 

"Uhm, is he ok?" I heard Sky ask. Meanwhile, Itey thought I was trying out some kind of hardcore head banging method, and joined me in killing brain cells. 

Did I say detention wasn't all that bad? I take it back.

Hell, it's hell I tell ya!

"I heard Lute threatened to rape Giggles with her flute."

"I heard that Jake wants to ask Mondie to the dance."

"I heard that Schizo had another meltdown and that's why she isn't here."

"I heard that-"

"WELL I HEARD THAT TWO HIGH SCHOOL GIRLS WERE STRANGLED IN THE DETENTION HALL!" I yelled suddenly. There are few things as annoying as gossiping girls. But… whoops. Wrong thing to say. The whole room went silent. Even Pie and Polecat broke apart to stare at me. Oatmeal and Angelic One, the culprits, turned around with wide eyes. And of course, Mrs. Jacobs chose that moment to be listening in at the door.

"KEVIN!" she screeched, marching into the room. I trembled under her polish stare. "What did I just hear?! Were you threatening those girls?! You know we don't allow things like that in this school!" 

With an inward groan, I slid down in my seat. This was not a good day. Not at all. 

"Come with me to the office, young man." 

More taunts erupted. I made a mental note to involve Pie, Ruin, and several others in a slow, painful death, then followed Mrs. Jacobs out of the room obediently. 

All the while thinking of what to tell my parents.

+

Really short, I know, I'll try to make the next few longer. Muah hah hah.

SHAMELESS PLUG! Go read my Brooklyn story (http://www.fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=1011158) because I finished it a little bit ago, and… I want ya'll to read it! Wheehee.

(end shameless plug)


	7. Seven

**Welcome to NHS**

By Swifty Li, as told to Keza: Queen of Procrastination

****

AN: Why won't it center things anymore? And why am I so horrible with updating??? Oh well, hopefully updates sooner thanks to FictionHobbit, who gave me a good plot idea (oh my! An actual plot?). And also thanks to Cards for giving me a few good ideas for this chapter. -snickers- Yeah, so, read and review and stuff, and hopefully there will be more - SOON! 

+

"You're late."

I froze in the doorframe, then glanced down at my little sister Mandy, who in turn was staring up at me, hands on her hips. She was also wearing a cape. I blinked a few times, then just ignored her and hung up my coat. With a high pitched shriek she fled down the hall -

"MOMMY MOMMY KEVIN'S HOME!" 

I groaned, cursing the fourth grader's name, then tromped up the stairs to my room, dropping my bag to the floor and throwing myself onto my bed. The mattress bounced and then tossed me to the floor, where I stayed sprawled. At this point my mother decided it would be a good idea to walk in.

"Kevin! What happened?" she cried with motherly concern. I rolled over groggily and stared at her.

"What? Oh… nothing, I just… erm… fell off my bed," I told her. She nodded, satisfied. What, she believed it? I'm not _that_ much of a klutz, am I? 

"So," she said, taking a seat at the edge of my bed. Uh oh. The big question. "Where were you this afternoon?" 

"Uhm. Emergency band practice?" I tried. She raised an eyebrow. "Yearbook? Track party? The deli?" And then, in a much quieter voice, "detention? AHEM, at Pie - er, Sid's house?"

Too late, she caught it.

"DETENTION?!" 

"Erp."

And then all hell was unleashed. My sister remained hidden downstairs.

+

"Grounded? Bummer," Pie-eater didn't sound the least bit sympathetic as his voice crackled through the phone. "Just your luck it's this weekend, right?"

"Eh? What are you talking about?" My eyes shifted to the door, praying no one was around. I wasn't even supposed to be using the phone. And nothing would please Mandy more than to bust me again.

"You don't know? About the party?"

"Party?"

"Yeah yeah yeah, you know, the one Lute is hosting."

"Oh man!" Lute's parties, while not the most safe, always ended with the best stories… for example, last year, when Blink and Mush showed up in one of those horse costumes, and… ok, never mind.

"I can't believe I'm missing that," I continued. "Of all the days for Mandy to be a jerk-"

"I HEARD THAT!" Squealed a voice from outside, followed by the pattering of footsteps as she ran off.

"Shoot, listen, I probably have ten seconds before I'm dead."

There was a moment's hesitation on the other end.

"Pie? You there?"

"Can I have your stereo?"

I hung up, tossed the phone under my bed, and picked up a book. Half a second later the door crashed open.

"Kevin Li, what have you been-"

I looked up innocently from my book.

"Yes, mother?" I interrupted calmly. Her hand relaxed on the doorknob. 

"Your book is upside down," she informed me. 

+

Once in awhile, my friends will actually come through for me. This was one of those lucky times. It was around nine o'clock at night, and I was just getting ready to finish some reading for American Studies when there was a sharp tap on my window. Putting the textbook down, I went over to investigate. It was pitch dark outside, but there, barely discernible, were three or four human-shaped forms. I stared down, not really sure what was happening… then another rock was thrown - this one crashed right through my window. I barely dodged, glaring down at the stone and shards of glass surrounding it. A jagged, star shaped hole now gaped from my window. I had no idea how I was going to explain _this_ one to my parents. 

Muffled curses and accusations were heard from below - apparently that hadn't been intentional. I was half way surprised. I remained standing at my window, wondering what was going to happen next. The four below had obviously come with the intention of 'busting me out,' but they apparently had no idea what to do now that they were actually here. I could easily guess who was down there. Pie. Ruin. Polecat. Skam. No, if Skam was down there, then I'd already be out - he was too clever for his own good. The fourth must have been Dragonfly, then - or… I groaned inwardly. As long as it wasn't Chamelion… 

"Psst… Swifty… SWIFTY!" someone hissed from below - drunk, yes. Must be Ruin.

"Your dog needs walking!" another voice floated up. After a moment of confusion I understood, and, grabbing my coat and some money, I tromped downstairs.

"Mum I'm walking the dog!" I yelled, slamming the front door behind me before anyone could object. I heard a slight 'thunk' as said dog ran into the door behind me. 

Still, I managed to make it into Polecat's station wagon and down the road with my family none the wiser. Or, so I thought.

+

"I knew it would work!" Chamelion grinned, sitting next to me in the back of the car. Somehow, I had been forced to sit in the middle - with a giddy crush on one side and a drunk on the other. Why, oh why didn't I stay safe in my room? 

"Swifty…" Ruin began, slurring. I ignored her.

"So, uhm, Polecat, you can bring me home, right?"

Polecat glanced at me through the rearview mirror.

"When do you want to be home?"

"When the party ends?"

She and Pie-eater exchanged glances. He bit back a smile, I saw this and rolled my eyes. 

"I should get a ride with someone else, huh?"

"Yeah, that would be preferred."

"Maybe my brother can get us!" Chamelion chirped. I ignored her, too. Luckily Lute's house was in sight and we were saved any further awkwardness. Lights we on in every window, people were absolutely swarming in the house and on the yard, and already the opening riffs of some song could be heard… apparently Itey was here, and he had gotten hold of the stereo.

"Good old fashioned fun!" Shortie squealed as soon as we entered the house. "We're playing games! Come on!" Chamelion dragged me in, and we were followed closely by Ruin, who had come for lack of anything better… Pie and Polecat had already disappeared. Kids these days, honestly. 

Sure enough, there was a casual game of 'truth or dare' happening in Lute's living room. Or, at least, it was supposed to be casual. Dutchy and Specs didn't look too happy.

"Oh, just kiss her!" Aura snapped. Dutchy fidgeted. 

"I don't think I feel comfortable doing that," he mumbled, not meeting the eyes of Magic, who was looking expectantly at him. Specs put an arm around his shoulder and drew him closer.

"Come on guys, it's not like you can force him to-"

"Oh yes I can!" Magic cried gleefully, then tackled Dutchy to the ground. Specs glared at them, then after a second, pushed Magic away.

"You never said you could french him!" he protested. Dutchy sat up and wiped his mouth.

"Ok," he said. "Now that _that's_ over with-"

"OOH! ME! PICK ME!" Shortie hopped up from the couch she was sitting on. Behind me there was a crash as Ruin stumbled and fell, taking a plant with her. I don't think she got up. 

"Ok," Aura said slowly, having seemingly declared herself the 'truth or dare' dictator. 

"Truth!" Shortie interrupted. Aura looked around for ideas. 

"I dare you to tackle Itey without your shirt on."

Pause.

"But… I said truth," Shortie reminded her. 

"Do I look like I care?" Aura asked with an evil grin. Shortie stuck her tongue out.

"Fine… where's the stereo?" Someone pointed her towards her mullet-haired destination, and she shuffled reluctantly off.

"I'll take over now," Ali insisted, speaking up for the first time since we had been present. "This one's up for grabs," she continued. "I dare someone… anyone… to go kiss Spot - and then get away before they're murdered by Sky." 

A slew of girls had jumped up at the first statement, but as they took Sky into consideration, most sat back down. Except…

"I'll do it." 

Heads turned. Specs stood smugly, ignoring a protesting Dutchy. Ali grinned.

"Perfect," she murmured… everyone knew what a homophobe Spot was. This would be interesting.

I followed with the crowd as Specs strode out and immediately found Spot, who was easy to locate, surrounded by his circle of girl admirers. On the way I could have sworn I head a muffled 'ow!' from the direction of the stereo, but one can't be too sure. 

"'scuse me… Ahem… yeah… can you move? Thanks… Sorry! 'scuse me…" Specs wound his way to Spot while we all watched at a safe distance. A moment later and he had actually picked the smaller boy up, pressed him against the nearest wall, and was furiously making out with him. It was a little one sided, sure, but worth every second - and because Specs _was _a lot bigger than Spot, it was many seconds before Spot managed to get himself on the ground. 

"Whoo lookit how red his face is… must be real mad," I heard Dragonfly muse from behind me.

"Either that or just real hot and steamed up," someone else snickered. I grinned. A moment later we all rushed in to save Specs, who was about to be set upon by Spot and his little minions. Sky was going crazy…

I ducked back into the safe haven of the living room, where Dutchy was having a chat with Ruin (who had finally gotten off the floor).

"I don't understand how she got so drunk," Dutchy said as he noticed me. 

"No… nono… see…" Ruin waved her hand around vaguely. "It's…. yeah." She paused, blinked, yawned, then continued - "I just overdosed."

"You mean overdrank?"

"Nono… over… overdosed. On Ny-Quil," she explained slowly. Dutchy and I exchanged glances. 

"What's that stuff, like, ten percent alcohol?"

"I keep forgetting she's a lightweight," Dutchy said.

"Yeah. Reeeal featherweight." 

A moment later Itey found his way into the room, rubbing his head with a grimace. In one hand he carried a jagged piece of what must have formally been a vinyl record.

"She broke it over my head," he was mumbling. Ah yes, Shortie. "Dunno why. She was the one making advances, I was only answering them…" he continued muttering to himself and plopped down into the nearest chair, staring at his record. "Had to be my Unearth record too…"

"Come on," Dutchy said, helping Ruin up and nodding for me to follow them. "Let's go give Ruin beer and laugh when she falls over."

I shrugged.

"Sounds good to me." 

+


	8. Eight

****

Welcome to NHS

By Swifty Li, as told to Keza: Queen of Procrastination

****

AN: Aye. Yi yi. 

+

"You guys _have_ to hear this! Oh… but… well first of all, I was only in the principal's office to make a phone call, I swear!" Snitch was talking inhumanly fast, eyes wide and breath heaving - for once he seemed to have dropped the whole "gangsta" demeanor. Boots was right beside looking equally frightened, one side of his headphones off of his ear and blaring obscenities. He seemed to have a permanent slouch due to all her chains and "bling bling" and the like. 

"Yeah?" Lute challenged, the bitter sarcasm in her voice not quite matching the affection in her eyes. "A phone call - to who?" 

"It's not important," he said quickly, ears turning pink.

A whole group of us were lounging outside around a picnic table, enjoying the last few minutes before lunch was over. 

"Naw, come on, G, tell 'em!" Boots urged, punching Snitch in the arm none too lightly. "Remember the looks on their faces, dawg?!" Snitch's own face lit up.

"Oh, yeah! Yo, hah, you guys have to gotta hear what we did to the freshmen girls'-"

"Snitch," Slick said patiently. "You were saying?" Snitch's face fell, his expression looked blank. "The principal's office…" Slick prompted, an eyebrow raised. 

"Oh, right, but it's only for two days this time!"

"SNITCHY! You were suspended again?!" Lute's voice was so shrill I could have sworn I saw Lyr's glasses crack. Lyr herself just cringed and unwrapped another chocolate coin. Ruin, who had previously just been stand up on the table, dipping her French fries into Tabasco sauce and looking amused, jumped down and joined the protests.

"Come on Snitch, just tell us what you heard!"

Snitch basked in the attention happily. Then Lute smacked him upside the head.

"OW! FUCK IT!"

Lute just giggled, Snitch whimpered and rubbed at his cheek.

"Jesus, ok, it's nothing big. Just the principal on the phone with somebody, something about… uh… debt, no funding." He frowned in thought. "People losing jobs and the school being knocked down to make room for-"

"A highway," Boots supplied.

"Right. A highway."

Stunned silence met this. Specs and Dutchy even stopped snogging to stare. I took a shot at piecing it all together.

"So…" I began slowly. "Our funding has been cut, the school and the town are in debt, and now the town wants to liquidate the school so they can have another highway…?"

Someone snickered. Dutchy was the culprit.

"I don't believe it," he said decisively. "I mean… he, Specs, stop it… well, Snitch has been truthful before, but are we sure he isn't… stretching it?" Snitch looked hurt.

"Bu-" Snitch started to protest, but Lute ruffled his hair and shushed him.

"He has a point," Slick said, spitting out a watermelon seed. Others agreed, Snitch did have a reputation to exaggerate. Only Ruin didn't speak.

"So boys," she said finally. "Tell me about this Freshmen thing…"

+

The subject was dropped, presumably forgotten - but then study hall happened. I was in my usual position, hunched over some random bit of homework and doing my best to block out the obscene (yet still fascinating) conversation Chattah and Babble (don't worry, I get them mixed up too) were having. 

"No, no, not _there,_" Babble was saying. You don't know how hard it was for me to keep from turning around. "Right, right. Exactly. You got it now! Hey Swifty!"

I jumped, dropped my pencil, then turned around, feeling a blush rise in my cheeks. Babble pretended not to notice.

"Chattah wants to join band," she told me. I couldn't help but look skeptical. 

"I can do other things than just cheer!" She said, frowning and looking a bit hurt.

"And talk," added Glitter, who had just sat next to me. Chattah grinned.

"Yeah, I'm good at that too." 

"I told her she could be a flute," Babble continued. "So she can stick around me and hopefully not get raped."

"Raped? What?" I'm sure Chattah's alarmed look matched my own. Babble shrugged calmly.

"Lute gets testy sometimes. And her flute is… well…"

"Right."

"Yep."

Awkward pause. I was about to seize the day and get back to my homework, then Chattah stopped me.

"So… ah... Swifty, what do you know about the new guy?" 

"Oh, Mr. Perfect?" I muttered sardonically.

"Yeah, that's the one," Chattah said, the sentence followed by a classic dreamy sigh. Babble and Glitter mimicked the noise. I hoped my vomit would cover them all. Realization struck, and hard. 

"Oh."

Chattah snapped out of her daydream. "What?"

"That's why you want to join band. Because… 'He' is in it."

"Well, duh." 

"Jeez Swifty."

"Yeah, a little slow on the uptake today?" 

"Ladies," I said. "I have homework to do." And with that I turned back around, feeling quite proud of my timely conclusion. And timely it was, for at that moment Angelic One burst into the room, and I had a better view than I would have before. She ignored our supervisor's disapproving look and darted over to my table. I must have been the only sane looking person in sight. That's not a rare occurrence. 

"Swifty?"  
"Mmm?" I tried to appear uninterested.

"Remember that thing Snitch and Boots were rambling about earlier?"

I thought hard… they do ramble a lot.

"Emm… nope." 

"About the school being demolished?" Her voice started to rise, octave by octave.

"Right! Yeah, so they made up a story to scare us. What's that have to do with anything?"

"I think it's true."

My own panicked silence was broken by Glitter and her, "what the hell are you two talking about?"

"I was making copies in the office and I overheard Seitz yelling like crazy. You know, more than the norm. Anyhoo, I busied myself shuffling the papers into place and slid closer to try and make out what he was saying…" During the course of this tale Angelic One had leaned forward and dropped her voice, causing us all to edge closer in anticipation. Then she straightened up and shrugged, ruining the whole effect. "It's true," she said simply. "Funding has gone down the drain, we're up to our asses in debt, and the state is demanding a highway." She sighed. "Schools out, boys and girls. Not only that, since they won't build a new school for us, we'll have to go to another town's school - and pay for it too!"

Chattah summed it up best. "Well, that sucks!" 

Angelic One kept her eyes on mine. "Do you believe me?"  
"Yes," I answered levelly. 

"Good." She sat down. "Now what're we going to do?"

"Tell the others, I guess." 

"Wait, wait!" The news seemed to have just registered with Babble. "We're going to have to move? Split up? _Pay to go to a freaking public school??_"

"Well… yeah."

"My parents are going to flip."

"Are you sure it's definite?" I asked Angelic One.

"Almost positive," she said. "Seitz was talking on the phone, then with the vice principal."

"Jeez woman, how long were you in there?" I couldn't help a smile from creeping onto my face. Angelic One grinned back. "Most of this study and the period before. Hey, being true to my nick name _does_ come in handy. A lot." 

"Ok, so, what's the plan? What are we going to do?" Glitter asked.

A bell rang.

"Nothing," I said, closing up my folders. "Study is over." Then to Angelic One, "d'ya think Seitz will tell us?"  
"Truthfully? I don't know. I wouldn't think he'd have anything to lose by letting everyone know, but then again…" She shrugged. "Who knows what corrupt politics happen behind those fuzzy office windows."

I ignored the comment.

"I wonder if we could do anything about it? Raise the funds needed or something."

"Yeah," she snorted. "Bake sales to save the school. Face it, Swifty, we're in it deep." 

"Bake sale? Who, where, and what kind of cookies?" Ali appeared at Angelic One's side as if by magic. We exchanged glances. 

"This is gonna be interesting," I muttered. She nodded in agreement and we trudged out together to the parking lot. 

Ali bounced along behind us. 

"Guys, what? Guys, come on guys, tell meee! What're you talking about? Can I help? Come on, I wanna know!" 

I had a feeling that a lot of people would want to know.

But should we tell them?

+

Well, now that I have a plot and all, chapters will come quicker - in theory (shut up Lute). You all can thank FictionHobbit for the plot idea. Now go read "Stand by Me" by her and try to get her to update it. ^^


	9. Nine

****

Welcome to NHS

By Swifty Li, as told to Keza: Queen of Procrastination

****

AN: HOLY CRAP IT'S AN UPDATE! That's all I have to say. -beams-

+

It was a bright, sunny afternoon when I came strolling back to my house, report card in hand. The sun was out, the sky was blue, and my whistling was especially cheery and on tune. Despite the fact that I might lose my school before the year ended, I was, to put it lightly, in a good mood. 

Then I entered my house. 

The first scene to greet me was the kitchen, where both my parents sat, grim expressions on their faces. My whistling stopped mid note. Even the dog looked upset - and I could hear Mandy giggling from another room. This did not look good. 

"You're in trouble, Mister," my dad said quietly. I dropped my bags and took a seat, trembling but not really understanding. They hadn't even _seen_ my report card yet! Unless the x-ray vision rumor about parents was true…

"Did you have fun last Friday?" My mother asked coldly. 

What was last Friday? Lute's party? Haha, that's right.

"Yep!" I answered with a hopeful smile. "It was a blast." 

My parents just stared, a mixture of disbelief and disgust.

"You were grounded last Friday," my mom said. My face fell.

"Oh… right… well, those books, whoo, that's fun stuff there! Did you know that in the end Gandalf _defeats _the Balrog?" 

"I'm not amused. You are in big trouble." Yeah, as if I needed _that_ fact to be reinstated. "Grounded for a week," my dad continued. "I'll drive you to school, you can take the bus home."

"NO! NOT THE BUS! SADISTS!"

"You will take the bus home," he repeated. I cringed. "You will also baby-sit Mandy without pay, computer, television, and phone are off limits, and you're not to leave this house for anything except school."

"And helping me grocery shop."

"Yes, and that." 

My eyes were wide and my mouth was resting on the table. I've heard of harsh, but _this!? _I couldn't think of a worse punishment - and how the _hell_ had they found out? I was discreet coming back in, no one had said a word until today! 

Hotshot came out of the kitchen, Mandy and Hotshot's little sister in tow. I had forgotten she'd be stopping by, she carpooled a few kids in the elementary school home, Mandy included.

"Can I, erm, walk H- Brooke to the car?" I asked hopefully. Hotshot shot me a strange look, my parents shrugged.

"I guess he can have contact with humanity one last time," my dad said seriously. I gulped and followed Hotshot and her sister outside. 

"Did you, uhm, talk to my parents today?" I asked while she got back into her car.

"Yeah, actually. Nice people."

"What about?"

Another strange look. I motioned with my hand.

"Well?!"

"Well… they just ask me what I had been up to," she said with a shrug.

"And then you said…"

"Nothing much, homework, friends, a few parties."

A chill ran through my blood.

"Did you mention Lute's party?"

"Yeah, I also mentioned that you were there, but judging from the look on your face that wasn't a good idea. Heh heh… er… sorry!"

Hotshot closed the door and drove off quickly, leaving me in a cloud of exhaust and frustration. 

"She's gone, now get back in here!" My mom shouted from the doorway. Heaving an overly dramatic sigh, I obeyed commands and retreated to my room.

+

"I'm _serious_ Pie, concentrate for like two seconds, they're coming up to take my phone away soon."

"Hey, we've already gone over this. You're grounded, it sucks, I'm sorry!"

"But the favor, I have a favor to ask!"

He groaned. "I don't want to hear it! For the last time, NO, I will not get Chameleon to move to Alaska!" 

"Never mind Operation Juno. I need you to take over writing something for me."

"_Writing?_ Aw, come on, I can't write. You know that! Ask Lyr or someone, she'll do a better job."

"No, you're my best friend-" I paused, waiting for conformation. 

"What? Oh, right, friends, yep, continue."

"So only you can fill in. See, with this whole school disaster in the works, I've been keeping a journal kind of thing-"

There was a snort from the other end, I ignored it.

"And now that I'll be stuck at home, I need you to continue it. Just write down whatever happens."

"For a _week?_"

"Well… maybe less? If I can talk to my parents. You know, run the whole thing about social classes and how if I didn't go to the party I'd be an outcast, peer pressure, etc, etc…"

"Oh yeah, man, that's a good one, works every time with me."

I couldn't tell if he was being sarcastic or not. 

"You'll do it then."

"I guess… do I have to start now?"

"Well, it'd be-"

+

Only a dial tone met my question. I blinked at the phone a few times, then shrugged to myself and hung it up, went back to searching under my bed for valve oil. I always found it amusing when Swifty, really a model citizen, was grounded. His parents gave him very little breathing room, but they were nice people, always giving me cookies or muffins when I went over, so sometimes I found it hard to be on Swifty's side.

I mean, _he_ never gave me muffins.

But he was my best friend, so that's why I had to take this 'journal kind of thing' job. I wasn't exactly enthusiastic about the whole thing, but it didn't matter. 

Ah-HAH! I grabbed the valve oil and threw it into my trombone case, then waded through the marsh that was my room and stumbled out to the hallway. I forced my door closed with some effort and made my way downstairs, where my mum was in the middle of preparing a chicken pot pie. Yum. 

"Hey sweetie," she said. "Well done on the report card."

"Thanks," I said and helped myself to some chips, then grabbed a jar of pickles from the fridge.

"I'm going to go visit Lexa, ok?"

"She still not feeling well?" 

Shortie was our neighbor, and her parents were close friends of my mum. I shrugged.

"She's doing alright. I think there are some other kids there to help cheer her up anyway."

"Ok, be back within the hour for the pie."

I grinned and saluted before walking out and across the street to Shortie's house. Several cars were already parked there, and I met Aura on the way in.

"Hey kid," she said, a smile rising to her face. "See that car?"

I looked over and almost tripped in awe. 

"Wipe the drool," she said with a laugh. But the convertible (black and shining like new) was just too much for me. I felt like I had to sit down. Or worship it. 

"It's the new kid's," she continued, now in a dreamy tone. "Dominic's."

Now I just wanted to kick it. Even Polecat was in awe of this 'new kid' and it was starting to bug me. I could see why Swifty was getting so disgusted with him now. 

"It's gross," I told her. She laughed and opened the door for me. 

"More kids?" Shortie's dad sounded distraught. "Please tell me you have plans for dinner! There's only so many noodles in the world!"

"Don't worry, Mr. L, I'm set," I said and Aura nodded in agreement. 

"We're just here to visit, not mooch," she assured him. He sagged in relief and pointed us the right way.

Quite a crowd of kids were present. Shortie was curled up in a chair, covered in a fleece blanket and chicken noodle soup cooling on a table nearby. Besides 'Dominic,' Poet, Echo, Classic, and Lefty were stationed at various points in the room. Shortie didn't even look up as I entered, apparently she (and all the other girls there) were engrossed in some story that 'Dominic' was telling. I sidled up to Lefty and motioned over to them.

"What's going on?" I asked. He shrugged and sighed.

"They've been like this the whole time. I'd have left an hour ago except I have to give Echo a ride home." He glared at the said girl and then pointed to a self nearby. "Look, the new kid brought Shortie pickles. She's been in love ever since."

"What? No way! I brought her pickles too!"

"Maybe you can distract her then," Lefty said hopefully. "And I can grab Echo and run. Or just attack… what's-his-name." 

"Right-o." I approached the danger zone.

"Shortie? Hey, Shorts? I brought you something." 

She looked a little annoyed at having her attention directed elsewhere. "What? Oh, hey Pie."

"Pickles?" I said hopefully. "I got you some pickles?"

"Oh, ok thanks," she said absentmindedly, then turned to the new kid. "You were saying?"

"That's it, I'm keeping them," I said. No answer. I felt like crying.

"I'm going home," I told Lefty.

"Lucky bastard."

"Does this kid have a nickname yet?"

"Not that I know of. 'Nothing is good enough,' says Classic. It sickens me."

"Nothing is evil and disgusting enough is more like it," I sighed. "Call him Bumlets!" I said suddenly.

"Excuse me?"

Where _had_ that come from?

"It's one of Swifty's words… you know how he is." 

Lefty shrugged. "Good enough. The new kid is Bumlets." He chuckled evilly. "I like it, it has a certain ring to it. Better start spreading it tomorrow."

"Sounds good," I said, waved a goodbye to the girls (it was ignored) and tromped back downstairs.

+

"Grounded? Oh, you poor baby!" Chameleon was, as usual, sitting next to Swifty and fussing over him. Only she seemed unaffected by this 'new kid' (oh right, Bumlets). I realized this and smiled, only Swifty could have that kind of luck. 

"I'm fine," he told her. "It won't be too long." 

"Do you think your parents will let me visit?"

"NO! I mean… I'm not really allowed to have social contact…"

"Well… ok then." 

I continued to eat away at my leftover pie and glanced around the lunchroom. There was a mass of orange-red hair weaving our way. Poet appeared and sat on the other side of Swifty, bouncing excitedly, a pencil and notepad in her hands.

"Is it true?" She squealed. "The highway rumor! Is it true?"

Swifty looked glad for a distraction. "Yeah," he said as he bit into an apple. "It's true alright."

"Wait 'til Davey hears about this…" Somehow, this news was like Christmas for Poet.

"Urm, what's going on?" Chameleon asked, not wanting to be left out.

"Lit Mag!" Poet squealed. "This is gonna be hot news." '

"Ooh!" 

"I just passed David near the salad cart," Adele, our exchange student, told Poet and promptly took her seat. "Just kidding," she added when Poet was out of earshot. Mondie snickered from where she was sitting, hiding with us to avoid Mush, as usual. 

"Hey Mondie - that Jake thing…" Dragonfly nudged her. "Hmm? Is it true?"

Mondie blushed.

"It is!" Dragonfly shouted gleefully. All the girls of the table erupted into giggles. Us boys just exchanged glances, oblivious as usual.

"I don't get it," Swifty said bluntly. 

Dodger rolled her eyes. "_Honestly_," she muttered. "It's a wonder you guys know where you are."

"What, this isn't chem lab?"

"Ha. But, I mean, isn't it obvious?"

"Uh, no," I cut in. "No, it's really not."

"Mondie's going out with Jake!"

"Oh!" Swifty said brightly. "Congrats then. Mush is going to be crushed!"

Mondie shrugged indifferently. "Jake has nice calves," she told us. 

"Mush has nice calves too," Dodger said.

"Maybe, but you should really see Jake's. It's amazing."

I looked helplessly to Swifty, he was shaking his head. 

"I like Mush's arms," Dragonfly told us. 

"Mush is an asshole," Mondie said, and rolled her eyes. "You guys don't believe me, but maybe he'll start following one of you around instead. Gawd, it's annoying."

"I wouldn't mind Mush following me around," Adele admitted.

"Yeah, me neither," I said, received some strange looks, and then was ignored again.

Luckily the lunch bell rang and I escaped to English. 


End file.
